Being a loser?

I am a loser. Im the weird guy you see who makes the hand gestures along with the weird sounds in the hallway. i think people like me, the girls always smile and wave at me,(which may be for pitty sake). The guys allways give me highfives and say have a good day. whenever i talk to people my mind shuts off and i talk like a petrified kid and sometimes i get lucky and say something funny and electrifying but in a none normal way. During my highschool years, i always kept to myself and was comfortable and moderately happy just going home and watching endless amounts of TV. But out of nowhere my mind is telling me that im stupid. i missed out on life. going to dances and making cool friends. Im just so depressed right now, i have no way out of this lifestyle which my mind is telling em i have to leave now. I think like a normal person, i know what to say but for some reasons the words dont find there way out. Im so confused, i dont know how to negotiate with my brain.